Mistaken Perceptions
by Ouvalyrin
Summary: Yami and Yugi are the protector and the protected. The darkness and light. Ryou and Bakura however, have quite a different relationship. Based on Dark Gatomon's poem "Mistaken Perceptions." One-shot that evolved.
1. Mistaken Perceptions

Mistaken Perceptions: The Fic

Disclaimer: The characters belong to their respective owners and the poem to DarkGatomon.

"Mistaken Perceptions"

by DarkGatomon

His eyes so hard  
His mouth so cruel  
The wild flair of his hair  
My soulmate  
My other  
My hidden self  
Oh, if they only knew!

They pity me,   
Those other ones,   
Who think I'm as I appear --  
Innocent  
Virtuous  
Different from him...   
The one that shares my soul.

But no, I'm not  
I'm just like him  
I know I'm cruel at heart, too  
I'm angry  
I'm vengeful  
I can but try  
To stay under control

And if it breaks  
I do not know  
What awful things I would do  
I can't think  
I won't think  
I won't admit  
Who I would become then.

But even now  
I'm dark inside  
I have no hope anymore  
I am lost  
I am cursed  
I should just be  
Left alone to my doom.

They think I'm kind  
And warm inside  
But I know they see just lies  
In my eyes  
In my heart  
They only see  
Their mistaken perceptions.

Summary

Yami and Yugi are the protector and the protected. The darkness and light. Ryou and Bakura however, have quite a different relationship. Based on Dark Gatomon's poem "Mistaken Perceptions."

* * *

They think that I am different from my yami. I'm not. They cannot see the truth before their noses, preferring to cast me into the mold that Yugi and Yami have already created. I do not fault them for it, preferring to stick to more important things.

Such as the Puzzle.

The Sennen Puzzle holds immense power, drawing it to me like bees to honey. I understand why Bakura is obsessed with gaining it, but I prefer to do it the more subtle way. Brute force only works with bullies.

On the other hand, I fear the strange fascination I have with the Sennen Items. I don't want to become like my yami, bloodthirsty and power hungry. I simply want. . .

. . .I don't know what I want anymore. Before I wanted love, someone to love me and take care of me, as well as power. Now. . .

. . .I don't know.

I know many things. I know that Yami and Yugi are together secretly, that Seto and Jou have secret crushes on each other, I know everything about my friends. But what I don't know is what I want.

Pathetic, isn't it?

My yami thinks that I'm his weak little hikari. He's partly right, but mostly wrong. I don't consider myself weak, I'm just not physically strong. I am a hikari, but do hikaris thirst for killing and power? No, I didn't think so. As for little, okay, yes, I know that I'm a shrimp, not as much as Yugi, but still a shrimp.

Whenever Bakura hits me, I always feel so angry. That's expected. When he kicks me, beats me, drives his knives into me, I get furious. That's expected too. The urge to pay him back, blood for blood, bruise for bruise, kick for kick, that's a bit unexpected. But to want to kill him, to feel his blood staining my hands, that terrifies me. Am I really that similar to my yami, to want to kill all those who hurt me? I pray that it's not so.

I don't know what to feel anymore. My entire life has been taken over by this. . .this _invader_ and I have become just a mere puppet, moved about on strings wielded by my master. 

I hate him.

It's one of the things about me that I _do_ know. I hate him because before he came, I never felt this kind of anger. White-hot, searing anger, the type that consumes you, but at the same time perfectly directed and never out of control. It infests you, turning you into a tool under its invisible hands.

Before he came, I never felt like this before. I was happy, looking for ways to gain control, but not quite willing to go all the way for it. I had friends, all of them just as captivated with dominance and control, but reluctant as well to go all the way through. Prestige and fame were the most important to us and nothing could stop us from gaining it. Nothing. . .but our fear.

That's why I hate him. Because he came, I felt this strange anger and changed. I fear that I've lost my title as hikari and become a yami because of this anger. I fear that I've become darkness and just as cruel and evil as my yami. I fear. . .I fear. . .him.

At night I dream. I dream things that horrify me and make me want to run for my mother and spill my guts to her. There's a few things interfering with that though. My mother is dead and my father's always out on some fucking dig in Egypt. If I told anyone about my dreams I would be in the nearest padded room or visiting a shrink faster than you could say "Change of Heart."

Do you want to know what I dream of? I dream of my yami, his death and his blood. And it sickens me. Oh, don't get me wrong. I'm still furious at him and want him to go away, but I don't want him _dead_. . .I think.

Yesterday I tried reading my fortune. What I saw gave me nightmares. It told me that I was a fallen angel, that I desired to kill all who oppressed me. And I can feel that unquenchable hate rising up in me every time he sneers, every time he spits, whenever he does anything to me. It takes all of my effort to school my features correctly and hold onto that hate and keep it from harming anyone.

That is why I fear him. Because one day, my rein will break and he will die. My reign of power would begin and nobody will be spared. And then eternal darkness shall come.

How do I know of this? The cards have told me and the cards never lie. It is beyond their capability to do so.

The cards tell me many things. They have told me all that I know. They have told me that my friends believe me to be innocent, virtuous, a taller white-haired version of Yugi Mouto.

But I am not.

Just try telling that to them though. They won't believe it, like I've said before they'll refuse to see what is in front of their very noses. They'll call you a liar, insisting that I'm the innocent one, a hikari.

Let me ask them this one question though.

Is Marik not a hikari? Look at him and tell me, are all hikaris supposed to be exactly like Yugi Mouto? Tell me the answer and think about your own words.

They'd probably reply that Marik's different. He's insane.

But he is a hikari. Their own words states that a hikari _must_ be good, _must_ fit into their ideal innocent one. They're wrong. I have never heard anything so wrong in my life.

Can't they see? Each hikari is different from one another. No two are the same.

But they never will see. Yugi Mouto is the perfect hikari and we must all be like him, sweet and innocent to a fault.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not bitter or angry. It seems that these little things don't really have that much of an effect on me. I just get. . .tired, or annoyed. But I keep up the façade, not wanting to disillusion the only people I have left in the world.

And that is why I must wear my mask, acting the part perfectly of a sweet little hikari, a bit quieter than Yugi, but that's to be expected if you have an abusive yami. But if they wish to see past my smile and kind eyes, they need only ask and they may see the dark soul within. . .but they never will, for they only see their mistaken perceptions.


	2. Of Good, Evil, and Power

WARNINGS: Little sappy bit of shounen ai mixed in with there...   
  
couldn't resist. *shrugs* Forgive me?  
  
***  
  
I never claimed to be evil.  
  
I never claimed to be cruel.  
  
Hell, I never claimed to be hikari no Sennen Ring.  
  
But that's who I am.  
  
I'm not evil. I'm not cruel. I'm just...  
  
... me.  
  
You know, people use the terms 'good' and 'evil' so freely. Good equals   
  
light, evil equals darkness. Simple, ne?  
  
Sometimes I think that they're wrong. Sometimes I think that there is   
  
no such thing as good and evil, only light and darkness.  
  
And there are times when I believe that there is nothing but power.  
  
Heh. I must sound so foolish now. Disbelieving my own existence? What   
  
kind of a person is that?  
  
But I am.  
  
I question things that others take as fact. When dawn comes, I am the   
  
one who asks, 'Is this really dawn or just the brief light of moon?'  
  
And now I'm being poetic.  
  
I showed my true colors in Battle City, you know. What, you thought I   
  
really was that weak? You thought that I would let myself be stabbed,   
  
let someone else, like that fool Malik, take the Sennen Puzzle and the   
  
power of Ra?  
  
My yami... I never told him about the god cards, never let him know   
  
that I knew about them. I'm not strong physically -- it would have been   
  
easy for him to kick me, beat me, hurt me, as he did before, in Duelist   
  
Kingdom.  
  
He wouldn't have, of course. I suppose that, in some strange way, he   
  
considers me to be his.  
  
I can't count how many times that he's told me that he takes care of   
  
what's his. He whispers that in my ear at night when we lie together in   
  
the darkness, two demons in disguise. He knows that I'm not nearly as   
  
sweet or innocent as I pretend, but...  
  
I suppose I care for him more now. He cares for me a little bit as   
  
well, when I made that alliance with him during Battle City.  
  
We've reached a truce of some sorts now. I no longer want to kill him,   
  
and he no longer scorns my presence.  
  
So... now...  
  
I know everything about my yami. We are more yami and hikari than Yugi   
  
and Yami could ever be. Yami and Yugi... they are a puzzle indeed, no   
  
pun intended. But they're fading... did you know that?  
  
They switch on so many occasions that it's surprising indeed that   
  
they're still separate beings. They're becoming one. Soon, there will be no   
  
such person as Yugi or Yami, and there will only be two souls merged   
  
into one.  
  
The true state? No, I don't think so. The experience could kill both of   
  
them. Yami and Yugi are completely different people, with different   
  
attitudes and memories. It's a clash of light and darkness, one that could   
  
destory both sides.  
  
I have no desire to see the two of them dead. Without them, the Puzzle   
  
would be meaningless. Shattered. Just a worthless hunk of cheap   
  
jewelry.  
  
Do I sound callous?  
  
I'm sorry.  
  
No, I'm not.  
  
I do care for Yami and Yugi -- they're my 'friends' I suppose, though   
  
they always ignore me -- a little. Not a whole lot.  
  
They ignore me, you know that. They think that I can't be a duelist,   
  
that I'm no good. That I'm another cheerleader like Anzu.  
  
Out of the mouths of fools comes... well, not wisdom. Something.  
  
I don't know what fools say. I don't know what wise men say. I don't   
  
know anything in this world except for light, darkness, and power. And   
  
there's no such thing as light and darkness, good and evil.  
  
So why bother?  
  
There's only power. Nothing but power. All yamis understand that,   
  
except for Yami no Yugi perhaps. And hikaris are the only ones who believe   
  
in good and evil.  
  
Yami no Yugi is as blind as they come. All that he did as Pharaoh --   
  
the merciless slaughter of thousands of men, women, and children -- he   
  
seeks to repent by being as 'good' as he can now.  
  
I feel pity for him, but that will not help him when the End comes.  
  
The End, you ask?  
  
Have you read any fairytales? They always end with 'and they lived   
  
happily ever after. THE END'. That is what I have chosen to call the time   
  
when yami and hikari will fight against the other yamis and hikaris.  
  
I have full intention of being the hikari that will survive.  
  
How do I know this? My my, how foolish you are to ask such a trivial   
  
question.  
  
The cards. I'm a fortune teller of sorts, if you ignore the demeaning   
  
term. I can predict the future semi-accurately, and the cards know all,   
  
see all, and tell all.  
  
Dear Ra, I sound like some mystic fake.  
  
But they can tell you anything, and everything, if you only ask in the   
  
right way. Not many can do it though.  
  
Am I really innocent? Am I really a hikari?  
  
You decide.  
  
What does it matter to me?  
  
There is no such thing as darkness or light. There is only power, and   
  
those who are too weak to gain it.  
  
***  
  
Um...well...ah...I really have no idea why I'm writing this...so...yeah.  
  
I haven't written Ryou in a...*long* time. Jeez.  
  
Last line comes from Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone, courtesy  
  
of Lord Voldemort himself. I think.  
  
If you're coming from Chibizoo's contest, this is actually the second  
  
chapter of Mistaken Perceptions, not the first. Oops. Oh well.  
  
*shrug*  
  
Review? ^^;; 


End file.
